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Clash Prospects for Sting 2009

12/20/09

Permalink 04:37:00 pm, by Skillachi
Categories: Entertainment, Culture, Business

Clash Prospects for Sting 2009

In Jamaica the christmas season means more than just santa claus, food, christmas trees, christmas lights (Or pepper lights as they are more popularly known), shopping till you're broke, and snow... well definitely not snow because of the whole... tropical, climate thing, yea that thing. Christmas is also the time for what is basically the greatest one night reggae show on earth, 'Sting'.

Now if anybody reading this blog and saying that they are Jamaican doesn't know about Sting, you may just have to do a resit for your Jamaican card, or it maybe revoked. Sting has become a staple of dancehall and reggae culture in Jamaica since the 1980's when the show started and it has always been met with ripe controversy, excellent performances and of course clashes. The Lyrical clash is just what makes dancehall, dancehall. In the clash, artistes who are at the top of their game will basically find a rival and compete lyrically on stage with an on the spot freestyle.

Sounds simple enough right? Just imagine standing in front of 40,000 people and having to come up with lyrics on the spot that can:

A) Grab the crowd
B) Diss your rival
C) Stay with the rhythm (riddim)
D) Be better than everything your rival has said about you

All at the same time.

Now I dont know about you, but to me just the 40,000 people alone would be reason enough for me release a steady stream of urine into my pants for the entire time I'm on stage, with the addition of all that stuff hyperventilation and sudden death are certainly forthcoming.

However artists do it, and they sound good doing it. I have written before on many of the clashes of yesteryear and as Sting draws ever so close (next week close), the heat is on as to what this year's clash will be... After all what's sting without clash, its like saying Jamaica with good politicians, it just doesnt work. However some of the possible clashes which has been slated are:

Bounty Killer v Vybz Kartel - The prospect for this clash has been going on for some time now but Bounty Killer unfortunately for Kartel, grew up and didn't want to clash with him in previous years. However this all changed this year when the Warlord get upset! (song title), and started to lyrically abuse Kartel for allt he things that he has done. The situation has gotten to the point where Jamaicans want to see a clash and this should be quite exciting and is most possible (even though both artists have said they do not intend to clash, but would be willing to) . Kartel being the excellent lyricist he is and bounty killer being the veteran that he is will make for an excellent contest... if Kartel doesn't decide to start attacking people on stage again.

Bounty Killer v            Kartel

Flippa Mafia v Elephant man - Now Ele has never been the clash artist, but something happened this year and he began to get into lyrical altercations with new artist Flippa Mafia and it has been ongoing. Now really most people couldn't care less about this clash, and it would really just be a sideshow as both artists aren't exactly the best lyricists out there. However the possibility does exist that it may just happen.

LA Lewis v Mr. G (Goofy) - I'm sure everybody who is paying attentino to dancehall foudn themselves laughing continuously at this prospect. Jamaica's greatest vandalist (LA Lewis) was reportedly gun butted by Mr. G and it has all been down hill from then on as they both seem to be at ends with each other. However this clash has been slated to take place, and its even on the sting poster. However really and truly nobody cares about this clash taking place... but it would be quite funny though wouldn't it : )

Yes I did not write about Kartel v Movado, the fact remains, they have both seemingly come to peace with each other so this clash will probably not happen.

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Three Ministers

Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Southern Baptist and their wives were all on a cruise together. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship, and they all drowned. The next thing you know, they're standing before St.Peter.

As fate would have it, the first in line was the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly and said, "I can't let you in. You were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

St.Peter waved sadly, and poof! Down the chute to the 'Other Place' they went. Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in either," said Saint Peter "You abstained from liquor and dancing and cards, but you loved food too much.

You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" Sadly, St. Peter waved again, and whang! Down the chute went the Methodists.

The Southern Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "It ain't looking good, Fanny."

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