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Permalink 03:43:56 pm, by TONI
Categories: Commentary


In the early months of 2005, my 4 year old grand-daughter Nyasia who lives in Miami was told by her parents that she would be spending her Summer break with me ( paternal grand-mother ) in Jamaica.
I looked forward to this as we had not spent any meaningful time together and this would be a “getting to know you” experience.
The eagerly anticipated time came and I went to Miami for her. On departure to Kingston we are seated on the aircraft waiting for take-off and every few seconds Nyasia asks: “Are we flying yet?” After a few of these I told her I would let her know, however when we were finally airborne there was no need as she lets out: “Wheee – now this is flying!”
We arrived in Kingston and 5 minutes after we got home she says: “Ok, I’m ready to go back to Miami now!”
At this point I’m beginning to think that this is going to be a long summer.
The next morning she wakes up and announces: I want pizza for breakfast!”
Well of course she had porridge!
Our first week was hectic; we went to the beach, took a picnic up to Hollywell, and went to Dunn’s River Falls.
The following week she made friends with our neighbor’s children and played various games, which she told me she enjoyed.
Then came hurricane Dennis. When I told her that a hurricane was coming, she looked a little scared and said: “I told you I want to go back to Miami.”
We went to Montego Bay that weekend to visit friends. The following week hurricane Emily came calling with a little more force than Dennis but we were ok.
On her last weekend I decided to take her to the circus along with her friends. The acts were excellent, and Nyasia was on her feet most of the show, clapping and dancing to the music.
Afterwards, when we got home my brother asked her if she had a good time to which she responded with a solemn “No”. I could not believe my ears!
Anyway departure day to Miami rolls around and we are checked in and proceed to Immigration. After checking our documents the immigration officer points to me, smile at Nyasia and asked her: “What do you call this lady?”
She looks up at him and smiles but she doesn’t answer. He tries again: “is she your sister or your aunt?” Finally she pipes up: “Grandma!” I breathe a sigh of relief as for a moment I saw myself being carted off to be interrogated!
Well we arrived in Miami and she was happy to be home and to be with her parents.
Back in Jamaica I find myself missing her sometimes although she told me that she’s not coming back to Jamaica, as we don’t have any Chuck -E- Cheese’s but we’ll see what next year brings.

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The Small Sandal Shop

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You!

Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him

violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants,and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"


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