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The Beasts of Cedar Valley
07/21/05
The Beasts of Cedar Valley
In Jamaica we have a saying, 'believe kills and believe cures', but is this the case with the Beast of Cedar Valley, St. Ann. Several eye wittnesses claim to have seen the strange creatures.
Reports are that there are two of them, one brown and white and the other black. According to The Star one eye wittness says 'They look like dawg, bark like dawg but the funniest ting it don't carry feet like dawg. Dem carry hoof like goat.'
They feed on trees and have so far devoured more than ten banana trees and one cedar tree. The Beasts have only been seen at night between midnight and dawn and appear every two or three weeks for the past three months.
Some believe it's a 'rolling calf', some believe its a fulfilment of prophecy or an indication that the world is coming to an end.
Any where else in the world and we would say the Beast must be the result of an experiment gone terrible wrong. What do you think?
Walk good.
Nuff love
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The Small Sandal Shop
A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You!
Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him
violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants,and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"
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