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The Beasts of Cedar Valley

07/21/05

Permalink 08:32:54 pm, by Melba
Categories: Commentary

The Beasts of Cedar Valley

In Jamaica we have a saying, 'believe kills and believe cures', but is this the case with the Beast of Cedar Valley, St. Ann. Several eye wittnesses claim to have seen the strange creatures.
Reports are that there are two of them, one brown and white and the other black. According to The Star one eye wittness says 'They look like dawg, bark like dawg but the funniest ting it don't carry feet like dawg. Dem carry hoof like goat.'
They feed on trees and have so far devoured more than ten banana trees and one cedar tree. The Beasts have only been seen at night between midnight and dawn and appear every two or three weeks for the past three months.
Some believe it's a 'rolling calf', some believe its a fulfilment of prophecy or an indication that the world is coming to an end.
Any where else in the world and we would say the Beast must be the result of an experiment gone terrible wrong. What do you think?
Walk good.
Nuff love

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Bruk Pocket Jamaican

"Recently, this Jamaican won the 10 million special lottery for a dollar. As soon as the office of the Lottery Corporation was open on the following day, he was there to collect his winnings.

Graciously, he presented his winning ticket to the clerk and in his best English uttered his request "Me cum fi collect the 10 millian dallars, si me ticket ya".

After reviewing and checking the ticket with his manager, the clerk returned and requested on how he would like his payments. The Jamaican replied "Mi wan all a de moni now". "Unfortunately, Sir" the nervous clerk responded, "The procedures are that we can only give you one million now and the balance equally over the next 20 years".

Furious and agitated, the Jamaican asked for the manager, who re-iterated "Sir, my assistant is correct, it is the regulation of the corporation that we initially pay you one million dollars now with the balance paid to you equally over the next 20 years".

Outraged, the Jamaican slammed his hand on the desk and shouted in anger, "Oonu tek me fi idiat, me wan all a de moni now or oonu gi me bak me rass dallar!!"

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