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The Beasts of Cedar Valley

07/21/05

Permalink 08:32:54 pm, by Melba
Categories: Commentary

The Beasts of Cedar Valley

In Jamaica we have a saying, 'believe kills and believe cures', but is this the case with the Beast of Cedar Valley, St. Ann. Several eye wittnesses claim to have seen the strange creatures.
Reports are that there are two of them, one brown and white and the other black. According to The Star one eye wittness says 'They look like dawg, bark like dawg but the funniest ting it don't carry feet like dawg. Dem carry hoof like goat.'
They feed on trees and have so far devoured more than ten banana trees and one cedar tree. The Beasts have only been seen at night between midnight and dawn and appear every two or three weeks for the past three months.
Some believe it's a 'rolling calf', some believe its a fulfilment of prophecy or an indication that the world is coming to an end.
Any where else in the world and we would say the Beast must be the result of an experiment gone terrible wrong. What do you think?
Walk good.
Nuff love

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Three Ministers

Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Southern Baptist and their wives were all on a cruise together. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship, and they all drowned. The next thing you know, they're standing before St.Peter.

As fate would have it, the first in line was the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly and said, "I can't let you in. You were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

St.Peter waved sadly, and poof! Down the chute to the 'Other Place' they went. Then came the Methodist. "Sorry, can't let you in either," said Saint Peter "You abstained from liquor and dancing and cards, but you loved food too much.

You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" Sadly, St. Peter waved again, and whang! Down the chute went the Methodists.

The Southern Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "It ain't looking good, Fanny."

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