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Happy Mothers day (belated)

05/11/10

Permalink 02:21:56 pm, by Skillachi
Categories: Culture, Commentary

Happy Mothers day (belated)

You know there are not many holidays that I really support, for example I'm not exactly a fan of Valentines day as you would realize if you've read my previous posts on the topic, I'm also not a fan of thanksgiving day either, not because I'm not american but because the entire premise of the day is a lie as none of what is celebrated on that day actually happened, the same goes for halloween and essentially any day that is nothing more than a reason to get people to spend money randomly throughout the year. These commercial holidays are all about spending and as such get much of my ire. However there are some days which to me do require a great amount of celebration and pizazz, Mothers day is one of them.

You see mother's day is a day where we celebrate the women in our lives that decided to walk around with what essentially starts as a parasite for 9 months, and then walk around with that parasite for another 2 or so years before it can somewhat manage itself. And then you have to monitor that same parasite for another 16 years before you can finally release it into the world to fend for itself, sometimes you also get more than one parasite to take care of. I make it sound really simple but it really isnt, I know this because I've been around alot of mothers and seen the different levels of crap they have to go through... it ain't pretty.

pregnant

First of all theres the whole removal of Social life that these mothers have to go through to care for their parasites (well the good mothers), no alcohol, no excessive partying, the bladder being reduced to nothing more than a tea cup (no I mean the actual size of a tea cup, not those giant cups you get from starbucks or wherever you get tea... I'm not a tea person), and the cravings, I guess they are brought on by the hormones but I remember my cousin waking up at 11 am to make festival to soothe her cravings.

And then there is childbirth... I dont even have to go into how much of a pain this is, its actually indescribable, well except by Bill Cosby who stated that it's the same as pulling your bottom lip over your entire head.

child birth

And then after the child (i'll stop saying parasite) is born where you have to deal with a child that has the innate ability to find danger even in the safest conditions possible. Then as the child gets older this danger is matched by the fact that the child also becomes a dust magnet, if you dont believe me, put a child in full white in a clean room, any clean room... give him/her an hour and then I guarantee you will wonder where the child obtained mud, grass, and what looks like wine stains, this is doubled if its a male child.

dirty kid

Really and truly though I am over simplifying just how much mothers have to go through, and I believe we should all be thankful for the fact that our mothers decided to stick it out and gave us life and love. I know the kind of child I've been (lets just say... a trouble maker), and I can imagine that dealing with me was no simple task. So all in all I have to first say thank you and happy mother's day to my mother (I already gave her her present). And also I have to wish a happy mother's day to all the other mothers in the world who have done so much for us all.

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Sister Mary Margaret

SISTER MARGARET MARY, WHO WORKS FOR A LOCAL HOME HEALTH AGENCY WAS OUT MAKING HER ROUNDS WHEN SHE RAN OUT OF GAS.

AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT A GAS STATION WAS JUST A BLOCK AWAY.

SHE WALKED TO THE STATION TO BORROW A CAN OF GAS TO START & THEN DRIVE TO THE STATION FOR A FILL UP.

THE ATTENDANT REGRETFULLY TOLD HER THE ONLY GAS CAN HE OWNED HAD BEEN LOANED OUT BUT IF SHE WOULD WAIT, IT WAS SURE TO BE BACK SHORTLY.

SINCE THE NUN ! WAS ON THE WAY TO SEE A PATIENT SHE DECIDED NOT TO WAIT & SHE WALKED BACK TO THE CAR. AFTER LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO FILL WITH GAS, SHE SPOTTED A BEDPAN SHE WAS TAKING TO THE PATIENT.

ALWAYS RESOURCEFUL, SHE CARRIED IT TO THE STATION & FILLED IT WITH GASOLINE, & CARRIED IT TO HER CAR.

AS SHE WAS POURING THE GAS INTO THE TANK, TWO MEN WERE WATCHING FROM ACROSS THE STREET. ONE OF THEM TURNED TO THE OTHER & SAID, "IF IT STARTS, I'M TURNING CATHOLIC".

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