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Stupidity: Marlon King

10/30/09

Permalink 05:43:52 pm, by Skillachi
Categories: Sports, Commentary

Stupidity: Marlon King

I have to sigh as I write this post as it instantly forces me to categorize alot of Jamaicans as stupid. I really dont want to, I love Jamaica, and by extension I love Jamaicans. But every now and again some Jamaican abroad does something that forces you to bury your face in your palms, or slap your forehead and release a homer-esque "doh". Today we have Marlon King.

Marlon King is a Jamaican footballer who plays striker who was signed with premier league team Wigan Athletic and had a contract worth US$58,000 a week. The man is clearly making enough money to be satisfied in life and if he continued to play with the form he has been would probably even be in standing to make even more money. But no, King is not satisfied to play football and be rich, instead he wants to spend a year and a half in prison. Of course it must be something he wanted to do. Why else would someone jeopardize their career just to grope a couple of girls. If you are that sexually dissatisfied, go buy a prostitute, or better yet flash your money around and try to attract some goal diggers, these women exist everywhere you know (I dont mean in anyway to demean women).

Sorry I started to rant, so lets look at the event. Apparently just hours after celebrating his wife's pregnancy and scoring a goal in a match, King went to a bar where he was shunned by two women for whatever reason. He then proceeded to try to grope these women and an altercation followed where King broke one of the women's nose.

Now if this isn't stupidity in its prime state I dont know what is. Why oh why would you not only sexually assault these women but actually punch one of them in the face? I dont even know what to say, I'm just angry and disappointed at King's behaviour and I hope that he learns a valuable life lesson in the process. It seems history is bound torepeat itself as King as already been to prison numerous times.

But maybe... No I HOPE King's defense is correct, that he really wasn't in the bar that night and it was a mistaken identity. That way he wouldn't be as stupid as I'm making it out to be and I would apologize without question. But as far as the court says, he's guilty and he should definitely pay for it.

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The Small Sandal Shop

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You!

Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."

So the married couple walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him

violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants,and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"

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