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Stupidity: Marlon King

10/30/09

Permalink 05:43:52 pm, by Skillachi
Categories: Sports, Commentary

Stupidity: Marlon King

I have to sigh as I write this post as it instantly forces me to categorize alot of Jamaicans as stupid. I really dont want to, I love Jamaica, and by extension I love Jamaicans. But every now and again some Jamaican abroad does something that forces you to bury your face in your palms, or slap your forehead and release a homer-esque "doh". Today we have Marlon King.

Marlon King is a Jamaican footballer who plays striker who was signed with premier league team Wigan Athletic and had a contract worth US$58,000 a week. The man is clearly making enough money to be satisfied in life and if he continued to play with the form he has been would probably even be in standing to make even more money. But no, King is not satisfied to play football and be rich, instead he wants to spend a year and a half in prison. Of course it must be something he wanted to do. Why else would someone jeopardize their career just to grope a couple of girls. If you are that sexually dissatisfied, go buy a prostitute, or better yet flash your money around and try to attract some goal diggers, these women exist everywhere you know (I dont mean in anyway to demean women).

Sorry I started to rant, so lets look at the event. Apparently just hours after celebrating his wife's pregnancy and scoring a goal in a match, King went to a bar where he was shunned by two women for whatever reason. He then proceeded to try to grope these women and an altercation followed where King broke one of the women's nose.

Now if this isn't stupidity in its prime state I dont know what is. Why oh why would you not only sexually assault these women but actually punch one of them in the face? I dont even know what to say, I'm just angry and disappointed at King's behaviour and I hope that he learns a valuable life lesson in the process. It seems history is bound torepeat itself as King as already been to prison numerous times.

But maybe... No I HOPE King's defense is correct, that he really wasn't in the bar that night and it was a mistaken identity. That way he wouldn't be as stupid as I'm making it out to be and I would apologize without question. But as far as the court says, he's guilty and he should definitely pay for it.

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Bruk Pocket Jamaican

"Recently, this Jamaican won the 10 million special lottery for a dollar. As soon as the office of the Lottery Corporation was open on the following day, he was there to collect his winnings.

Graciously, he presented his winning ticket to the clerk and in his best English uttered his request "Me cum fi collect the 10 millian dallars, si me ticket ya".

After reviewing and checking the ticket with his manager, the clerk returned and requested on how he would like his payments. The Jamaican replied "Mi wan all a de moni now". "Unfortunately, Sir" the nervous clerk responded, "The procedures are that we can only give you one million now and the balance equally over the next 20 years".

Furious and agitated, the Jamaican asked for the manager, who re-iterated "Sir, my assistant is correct, it is the regulation of the corporation that we initially pay you one million dollars now with the balance paid to you equally over the next 20 years".

Outraged, the Jamaican slammed his hand on the desk and shouted in anger, "Oonu tek me fi idiat, me wan all a de moni now or oonu gi me bak me rass dallar!!"

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