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Stupidity: Marlon King

10/30/09

Permalink 05:43:52 pm, by Skillachi
Categories: Sports, Commentary

Stupidity: Marlon King

I have to sigh as I write this post as it instantly forces me to categorize alot of Jamaicans as stupid. I really dont want to, I love Jamaica, and by extension I love Jamaicans. But every now and again some Jamaican abroad does something that forces you to bury your face in your palms, or slap your forehead and release a homer-esque "doh". Today we have Marlon King.

Marlon King is a Jamaican footballer who plays striker who was signed with premier league team Wigan Athletic and had a contract worth US$58,000 a week. The man is clearly making enough money to be satisfied in life and if he continued to play with the form he has been would probably even be in standing to make even more money. But no, King is not satisfied to play football and be rich, instead he wants to spend a year and a half in prison. Of course it must be something he wanted to do. Why else would someone jeopardize their career just to grope a couple of girls. If you are that sexually dissatisfied, go buy a prostitute, or better yet flash your money around and try to attract some goal diggers, these women exist everywhere you know (I dont mean in anyway to demean women).

Sorry I started to rant, so lets look at the event. Apparently just hours after celebrating his wife's pregnancy and scoring a goal in a match, King went to a bar where he was shunned by two women for whatever reason. He then proceeded to try to grope these women and an altercation followed where King broke one of the women's nose.

Now if this isn't stupidity in its prime state I dont know what is. Why oh why would you not only sexually assault these women but actually punch one of them in the face? I dont even know what to say, I'm just angry and disappointed at King's behaviour and I hope that he learns a valuable life lesson in the process. It seems history is bound torepeat itself as King as already been to prison numerous times.

But maybe... No I HOPE King's defense is correct, that he really wasn't in the bar that night and it was a mistaken identity. That way he wouldn't be as stupid as I'm making it out to be and I would apologize without question. But as far as the court says, he's guilty and he should definitely pay for it.

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Reasons why I love my Jamaican Mom

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait till we get home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You going get a ass'n when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE.
"What di backside yu thinkin'? Answer me when me talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
"If yu run cross de road an' cyar lick yu dung, a goin' kill yu wid lick."

5. My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION.
"If yu no go a school, yu a go tun tief or walk an' pick up bottle."

6. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If yu tun over yu eye lid an fly pitch pan it, it a go stay so fi evva."

7. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD.
"Is not one time monkey goin' wan' wife"

8. My Mother taught me ESP.
"Yu tink a don't know what yu up to nuh?"

9. My Mother taught me HUMOR.
"If yu don' eat food, breeze goin' blow yu 'way."

10. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT.
"Come an' tek yu beatin' like man."

11. My Mother taught me about SEX.
"Yu tink say yu drop from sky?"

12. My Mother taught me about GENETICS.
"Yu jus' like yu faada."

13. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Yu tink mi come from "Back A Wall?"

14. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE.
"When yu get to be as ol' as me, yu wi understan'."

15. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE.
"One day wen yu have pickney, a hope dem treat yu same way."

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